Today I must write. I may get interrupted 1000 times, but I must write these feelings in my heart. Today begins the next stage of our new journey. Today I send my husband ahead of us to his new job and our new home in Memphis, TN. Most of you know we are going, but most of you do not know what I am feeling. I can't keep it in or I might explode. I don't think I have EVER felt such intense emotions of extreme excitement and utter sorrow at the same time. I am so excited about our new jobs and being close to my parents. I am excited to meet new people and find new fun things to do with my girls. I am also utterly devastated to leave amazing people that I have come to love and cherish with all my heart. We are leaving a wonderful beautiful church behind. Unity Baptist Church has been a family to us. They have laughed with us and held us when we couldn't cry any more. They cheered when we had each of our children and we dedicated them to the Lord there. We learned to serve and to reach out there as a family. Our hearts break to leave them behind. I have sweet wonderful neighbors that have taken me and my family into their hearts and into their lives. I couldn't have been a mommy without those ladies. They helped me so much and taught me so much. I am going to miss them horribly. I know these sentences all run together, but I can't stop and the tears won't stop right now. Each one of you has a special tear as I say good-bye. I know its not good-bye forever as one day we will be together in heaven with the Lord, but I learned when my Poppy passed away that saying good-bye still is the hardest thing in the world. I've said good-bye many many times in my life, but this is different. This is where Balmir and I made my family. This is where we brought all three of our babies home from the hospital. This is where I have a sweet work family that has loved me and molded me and taught me how to be a better nurse and even a better mom. There are other friends i am leaving behind and please know that my heart cries out for you. Our friendships have been amazing and your love and patience and kindness have been wonderful. You know what made me start feeling this way all of a sudden? Last night we drove home together for the last time. All of a sudden it hit me that this was the last time we would drive up to our sweet little house together. I am so thankful for this house. I am so thankful for the memories. I know its just a building, but its a building that gave me room to be a new wife and a new mother. It kept my babies warm and dry and gave my husband and I a safe place to spend grow our marriage and learn more about each other and our Lord.
I am so thankful to God for his provision for this move! I am so thankful for his guidance and love. I praise Him for his wondrous deeds!
I have to go now, but maybe later I will write more about the future!
Friday, January 6, 2017
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
CRAZY DAY!
So the only place I can think to start is at the beginning. In fact I think I'll write it out. Its that interesting.
0500:awakened by Tia(4) who is feverish and miserable (Juliette was sick all last week so I knew it was only a matter of time. Made a little sleeping spot for her on the floor of our room and turned out the light
0530: heard the sound way too well known by all parents...the pre sounds of throwing up and then...yep she threw up all over the little "bed" we made for her. I heard the sound and thought, "oh my word I need to get up and run her to the bathroom(which is what I normally do) but I was so so tired that I couldn't...and I missed it. we got her cleaned up and back to sleep. Both Balmir and I realized that our own throats hurt and we also felt sick...oh no! Here it goes!
0730: the whole house is up and about and with a little medicine Tia definitely perks up although she declares that she is too sick to do school. Bethleen agrees, but she doesn't seem sick at all so she is going to have to do school.
0830 we are all eating breakfast and Lowes calls to deliver our washing machine...of course its 24 degrees outside and the kids are sick, but OK no problem. They tell me they will be there between 11 and 1...we shall see.
0930 we finally start school. We do Math and Bethleen's reading class without too much incident except for Juliette who is in full swing now that she is feeling better. She is either screaming because no one is paying attention to her or she is quietly making trouble in some room. Her favorite thing lately has been taking Barbie to the bathroom. The only problem is that Barbie is too small for Juliette's potty seat and often falls in. Either that or Juliette thinks its time for Barbie to get her hair washed.
12:00 we decide its time to get lunch. I'm trying to hold them off because I really don't want the Lowes guys coming during naptime. Tia doesn't eat much and is getting more and more cranky
12:30 all the kids get bathed or showered and right as all three of my children are stark naked. The Lowes guys show up. Tia is very feverish and piled under blankets. Bee is quietly playing and Juliette is running around saying, "Hi" "Hi" she doesn't want to miss someone stopping at the house. She LOVES to see new people.
1330: The kids were finally down for their nap. I folded laundry for two hours and finally caught up...at least for today. It was nice to get it done.
1530: woke up the little girls(Bethleen doesn't sleep) Tia was a little perked up after her nap, but not a whole lot better. We ran to Ingles to get a few things and then back to the house.
1730: making supper, girls cleaning up and then letting them watch a little TV
1800: food is in the oven and I go to do Bethleen's hair(Hair would make for a great blog sometime)
1820: Juliette shoves a bright orange tiny little elastic up her TINY little nostril and I can't get it out. I try to suck it out with a bulb syringe, but no luck. I call the Dr right away as I know they close at 7. They are 25 minutes away from us but they say we can come in
1846: Myself and the girls meet Balmir at the Dr's and he graciously brought some Chik fil e nugguts. You see I barely had time to get the food out of the oven before we had to run out the door. It was either that or 300 $ ER visit. (worried about airway obstruction here)
1900: The nurse takes us back to the room and looks up Juliette's nose. Sure enough there is a bright orange elastic up there(didn't make it up) the nurse says she is going out to get the Dr. Juliette sneezes and out comes the elastic!!! So thankful we didn't have to torture her to get it out! Also my sweet Dr office just cancelled the appt and didn't charge me a dime! Praise the Lord!
We drove home and then ate dinner and Tia was asleep so quickly. She is now on our floor on her "bed" and has had her medicine and seems to be comfortable. Bethleen is upset because Tia is not in her room, but she will be fine, because she can take care of Juliette for us tonight. :) Yes all three girls share a room!
2212: Hopefully tonight we will sleep better and get better. Another wild day in our world tomorrow!
Ahhh sitting here with my hubby in a quiet house. I love it!
0500:awakened by Tia(4) who is feverish and miserable (Juliette was sick all last week so I knew it was only a matter of time. Made a little sleeping spot for her on the floor of our room and turned out the light
0530: heard the sound way too well known by all parents...the pre sounds of throwing up and then...yep she threw up all over the little "bed" we made for her. I heard the sound and thought, "oh my word I need to get up and run her to the bathroom(which is what I normally do) but I was so so tired that I couldn't...and I missed it. we got her cleaned up and back to sleep. Both Balmir and I realized that our own throats hurt and we also felt sick...oh no! Here it goes!
0730: the whole house is up and about and with a little medicine Tia definitely perks up although she declares that she is too sick to do school. Bethleen agrees, but she doesn't seem sick at all so she is going to have to do school.
0830 we are all eating breakfast and Lowes calls to deliver our washing machine...of course its 24 degrees outside and the kids are sick, but OK no problem. They tell me they will be there between 11 and 1...we shall see.
0930 we finally start school. We do Math and Bethleen's reading class without too much incident except for Juliette who is in full swing now that she is feeling better. She is either screaming because no one is paying attention to her or she is quietly making trouble in some room. Her favorite thing lately has been taking Barbie to the bathroom. The only problem is that Barbie is too small for Juliette's potty seat and often falls in. Either that or Juliette thinks its time for Barbie to get her hair washed.
12:00 we decide its time to get lunch. I'm trying to hold them off because I really don't want the Lowes guys coming during naptime. Tia doesn't eat much and is getting more and more cranky
12:30 all the kids get bathed or showered and right as all three of my children are stark naked. The Lowes guys show up. Tia is very feverish and piled under blankets. Bee is quietly playing and Juliette is running around saying, "Hi" "Hi" she doesn't want to miss someone stopping at the house. She LOVES to see new people.
1330: The kids were finally down for their nap. I folded laundry for two hours and finally caught up...at least for today. It was nice to get it done.
1530: woke up the little girls(Bethleen doesn't sleep) Tia was a little perked up after her nap, but not a whole lot better. We ran to Ingles to get a few things and then back to the house.
1730: making supper, girls cleaning up and then letting them watch a little TV
1800: food is in the oven and I go to do Bethleen's hair(Hair would make for a great blog sometime)
1820: Juliette shoves a bright orange tiny little elastic up her TINY little nostril and I can't get it out. I try to suck it out with a bulb syringe, but no luck. I call the Dr right away as I know they close at 7. They are 25 minutes away from us but they say we can come in
1846: Myself and the girls meet Balmir at the Dr's and he graciously brought some Chik fil e nugguts. You see I barely had time to get the food out of the oven before we had to run out the door. It was either that or 300 $ ER visit. (worried about airway obstruction here)
1900: The nurse takes us back to the room and looks up Juliette's nose. Sure enough there is a bright orange elastic up there(didn't make it up) the nurse says she is going out to get the Dr. Juliette sneezes and out comes the elastic!!! So thankful we didn't have to torture her to get it out! Also my sweet Dr office just cancelled the appt and didn't charge me a dime! Praise the Lord!
We drove home and then ate dinner and Tia was asleep so quickly. She is now on our floor on her "bed" and has had her medicine and seems to be comfortable. Bethleen is upset because Tia is not in her room, but she will be fine, because she can take care of Juliette for us tonight. :) Yes all three girls share a room!
2212: Hopefully tonight we will sleep better and get better. Another wild day in our world tomorrow!
Ahhh sitting here with my hubby in a quiet house. I love it!
Monday, January 4, 2016
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Welcome to 2016! I know its all psychological, but it seems so clean and fresh. It seems like I get to start over. I know its all in my mind, but it feels good. I had a wonderful wondeful Christmas and New Years with my family. Hence the completely off the grid. We went to Memphis to be with my dad and mom. They had fixed everything up so nice. We had amazing food and made new sweet memories. They had decorated everything so nice and it was all ready. We had such a nice relaxing time with them. It was so nice to spend time with them and wonderful to bring Mama Shirley back with us. We miss Poppy a lot, but it felt like he was almost there with us in spirit. There was probably someone thinking of him every moment during that trip. It feels so strange him not being there with us and doing all the things we normally do. I feel like he should be just one room over working on his computer or talking to someone. I miss him so much. What a wonderful life he lived and how much he embraced each and every day and loved so freely. Last Saturday we went walking downtown with my family, Mama Shirley, and Aunt Betty included. Over and over Mama Shirley would stop and say hi to a shop keeper or tell us about such and such a person and I swear she knew every person on Main Street! I knew that Poppy was responsible for that.
I want to be like that. I want to love freely and live life to the fullest. I want people to know me for the light of Jesus shining through. Thank you for letting me share my heart!
God bless you all as you go through your own individual journey. May He guide you, and comfort you and strengthen you in this new year. I know each of you carries burdens in your heart and I pray that God's peace with be very present in your every moment.
I want to be like that. I want to love freely and live life to the fullest. I want people to know me for the light of Jesus shining through. Thank you for letting me share my heart!
God bless you all as you go through your own individual journey. May He guide you, and comfort you and strengthen you in this new year. I know each of you carries burdens in your heart and I pray that God's peace with be very present in your every moment.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Potty Training
Juliette has decided she is ready to potty train! Please note that I say "Juliette", because I HATE POTTY TRAINING!!! Please remember that I have trained 2 girls already and it is no more my favorite now than it has been in the past. I'm just not good at it and I'm not asking for advice this time, because honestly I've tried everything in the past and I've settled on one plan that seems to work well. I just let them wear diapers until they decide they don't want to wear diapers anymore. At first I thought that they might still be wearing them when they were teenagers, but then I slowly realized that human beings do not desire to be bound by plastic underpants. We start out that way and unfortunately most of us end that way, but in between we will do whatever it takes to wear as little of that stuff as possible. Anyhow, all that to say that Juliette has begun WAYYYY too early for my tastes. I would've been fine with her waiting until she was 4, but no she wants to do it now so here we go! I do the rewards and she LOVES that part, but connected to her love for being naked is also her love of sitting on the toilet. She says "Bik, Mommy, Bik." For any of you that don't speak 2 year old talk that means Book. She wants to read a book while she sits there, and sits there and sits there. She also says to me, "Go! Go!" She wants her privacy. The only problem is that she CANNOT be alone in the bathroom or unfortunate events occur. One time I turned around for a second and when I came back she was standing...IN THE TOILET!!! Thankfully this had not been a successful trip to the bathroom and Juliette was having a great time splashing in "clean" toilet water...EWWWWW!
This is why I hate potty training. A diaper is a clean process. I am REALLY good at diapers now. Between my job(mom/baby nurse) and my 3 children in the last 6 years I would consider myself a professional. The problem comes in when they decide they want to take the diapers OFF and then it is no longer a clean process. Anyhow, that is my life right now. In between potty runs, I quickly check on the older girls school and then run back to the potty. Then I run and put a dish in the dishwasher and run back to the potty. and then another dish, potty, etc... you get the picture. Please refrain from writing comments like the following, "Oh I trained my Susie in a weekend. She is amazing!" "Oh Johnny when to the potty one time and that was it!" I used to think I was doing something wrong so I tried EVERYTHING. Then I realized one day that between my girls and I this process was just meant to take longer than most people...Years longer than most people. The good news is that Bethleen and Tia are actually potty trained fully. Forget that it took from about 2 1/2 years from start to finish for each of them. I've got my army boots on and I'm ready to roll. We will successfully be done this journey of potty training in November of 2017 if all goes as before. Wow that seems a LONG LONG way away, but I know it will go fast. God bless all you fellow potty trainers. The following picture was taken in July of 2013. This is Bethleen and Tia.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Some of you have commented on my posts and I love that so much! It encourages and uplifts me!
We are doing well. Working hard on school and getting ready for Christmas. We are headed out to my parents' house for Christmas for the first time ever. The other day we put up our Christmas tree and Bethleen said, "Mommy, I'm not sure I want to go to Grammy's for Christmas." I asked her why and her answer was, "Because we have such a beautiful Christmas tree." I assured her that we would fully enjoy ours and that I was sure Grammy's would be very very beautiful. These pictures were all taken courtesy of Tia. She loves to practice taking pictures with my phone. They may not be perfect, but they give very accurate pictures of our lives. Especially miss Juliette's mischief! Please note the bathing suit that she has to wear to bed every night.
We are doing well. Working hard on school and getting ready for Christmas. We are headed out to my parents' house for Christmas for the first time ever. The other day we put up our Christmas tree and Bethleen said, "Mommy, I'm not sure I want to go to Grammy's for Christmas." I asked her why and her answer was, "Because we have such a beautiful Christmas tree." I assured her that we would fully enjoy ours and that I was sure Grammy's would be very very beautiful. These pictures were all taken courtesy of Tia. She loves to practice taking pictures with my phone. They may not be perfect, but they give very accurate pictures of our lives. Especially miss Juliette's mischief! Please note the bathing suit that she has to wear to bed every night.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Another day
So yesterday I felt like a super hero...Today I feel like a failure. Thankfully God uses our failures for good. I'm really hoping that he will use mine. At the end of the day I feel like I've swung back and forth between solid and screamer. I feel like one minute I'm trying really hard to be sensitive to my kids and discipline them properly and then the next minute I just want to scream and run out the door and I get so impatient with them. I long for stability and that is what I am currently seeking from God. Please keep us in your prayers. I am learning to keep many of you in mine. I realize right now that not a lot of people read this blog and I am finding that I am ok with that. I find myself thinking clearer as I type out these thoughts. Its very stress-relieving. Today I am reading Philippians 4:10-20...with a main focus on verse 19. I know a lot of people read large portions of scripture each day, but right now I am just trying to get back in the habit of daily time with God. It may be short, but at least now I'm checking in again and really seeking to put my focus back on him. God be with all of you tonight. May you sleep in perfect peace with your mind stayed on him. And for those of you who do not know my sweet Jesus, I cannot imagine living life without him. Good night.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Spirit's Movements
Sometimes these movements of the Spirit are like a giant earthquake that you can't miss, but normally they are a soft gentle breeze and if you aren't paying attention you will miss out on the most glorious touch of the Spirit in your life. That is where I am right now in my life. The Spirit is moving and God is urging me to stop what I am doing and "know" his presence and work in my life. I just finished reading in Genesis 22:13-14 where Abraham calls the place where God called him to sacrifice Isaac and then provided a substitute, "God will provide." how often do I forget this crucial quality of my God...OF COURSE HE WILL PROVIDE!! I just forget. I lose sight of what a might awesome God he really is. Even more than that I often forget just how much he loves me.
Spirit, keep moving. Don't give up on me. Help me to stop and feel your gentle motions. Help me to know you more and to walk with your daily. Guide me.
Spirit, keep moving. Don't give up on me. Help me to stop and feel your gentle motions. Help me to know you more and to walk with your daily. Guide me.
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