A New Beginning

Today I must write.  I may get interrupted 1000 times, but I must write these feelings in my heart.  Today begins the next stage of our new journey. Today I send my husband ahead of us to his new job and our new home in Memphis, TN.  Most of you know we are going, but most of you do not know what I am feeling.  I can't keep it in or I might explode.  I don't think I have EVER felt such intense emotions of extreme excitement and utter sorrow at the same time.  I am so excited about our new jobs and being close to my parents. I am excited to meet new people and find new fun things to do with my girls.  I am also utterly devastated to leave amazing people that I have come to love and cherish with all my heart.  We are leaving a wonderful beautiful church behind.  Unity Baptist Church has been a family to us. They have laughed with us and held us when we couldn't cry any more.  They cheered when we had each of our children and we dedicated them to the Lord there.  We learned to serve and to reach out there as a family.  Our hearts break to leave them behind.  I have sweet wonderful neighbors that have taken me and my family into their hearts and into their lives.  I couldn't have been a mommy without those ladies.  They helped me so much and taught me so much.  I am going to miss them horribly.  I know these sentences all run together, but I can't stop and the tears won't stop right now.  Each one of you has a special tear as I say good-bye.  I know its not good-bye forever as one day we will be together in heaven with the Lord, but I learned when my Poppy passed away that saying good-bye still is the hardest thing in the world.  I've said good-bye many many times in my life, but this is different.  This is where Balmir and I made my family.  This is where we brought all three of our babies home from the hospital.  This is where I have a sweet work family that has loved me and molded me and taught me how to be a better nurse and even a better mom.  There are other friends i am leaving behind and please know that my heart cries out for you.  Our friendships have been amazing and your love and patience and kindness have been wonderful.  You know what made me start feeling this way all of a sudden?  Last night we drove home together for the last time.  All of a sudden it hit me that this was the last time we would drive up to our sweet little house together.  I am so thankful for this house.  I am so thankful for the memories.  I know its just a building, but its a building that gave me room to be a new wife and a new mother.  It kept my babies warm and dry and gave my husband and I a safe place to spend grow our marriage and learn more about each other and our Lord.
I am so thankful to God for his provision for this move! I am so thankful for his guidance and love.  I praise Him for his wondrous deeds!
I have to go now, but maybe later I will write more about the future!